Bertha Dudde 1891 - 1965  
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BD 6988 08.12.1957

The agonies of the human being without the awareness of self ....
Rom. 8, 19-22 ....

You have been created for the eternity. Hence you cannot stop existing for eternities even though you did have a beginning. But you were able to change your being, and you did just that and thus have robbed yourselves of the awareness of self. You still continued to exist but you were not aware of your own self anymore. Nevertheless, this condition was no bliss, it was no blissful drifting into a void but, rather, it was a condition of agony because it meant restriction for the once created free spiritual being, which also experienced this restriction as an agony.

Now, since you will exist forever you should be able to enjoy your existence; you should be able to live in a blissful condition, to work for your own joy in power and light, that is. This is your aim, the aim of all that once created by Me, to live and be active in My will, to be in bliss like Me, full of light and power and, for one's own happiness, to be active in work and creation. Yet, countless beings radiated by Me in light and freedom have, by their own doing, lost their awareness of self. They gave up the freedom, the light and the power and chose a dreadful lot for themselves. But they could not destroy themselves and will also forever not be able to do so.

Now, if this voluntarily chosen condition without awareness of one's self were free of any agony, no being then would strive for a life in blissfulness; it then would have perished, so to speak, just recognized as a being by Myself. For the agony of a bound being is unimaginable and the threat of rebanishment to you humans ought not leave you untouched, for even if you are lacking the awareness of self, you will still be exposed to pain which, when looking back, you will be recognizing once having entered the [real] life. It is the spiritual man who suffers, not the carnal man whom you imagine having passed away.

And the spiritual [in man] could certainly have turned solid within but it is not wiped out, it is not without sensation and it suffers the greatest pain, even in its most minute substance. That's also why the whole creation, i.e. the spiritual bound in matter opposed to the kingdom of light and its inhabitants, is unsaved and non-blissful, that is pain struck, and in its pain it yearns for redemption. The pain which the spiritual experiences is incomprehensible to you humans, because that which is given to your soul as a cover, your earthly body, is only able to experience and bear pain up to a certain degree but which is in no comparison to the agonies the soul must endure in an unredeemed state and which the still bound spiritual experiences in its outer cover as well.

But because it is not until the state of a soul, now being aware of itself, it's only in the state of a human being it then can consciously strive for a change of its being, i.e. a transformation to its former original being. The realization that it can never cease to exist, that it will actually exist forever, will then certainly induce it to arrange for a sincere striving of its own happy eternity; to strive for a life in bliss and to again attain power and light, to be able to be active according to the law of divine order. But as long as it is lacking this knowledge, man lives uselessly on this earth and the soul remains bound and it also leaves its body still bound .... And thus the agonizing condition emerges again which it did not feel so much on earth. It [the soul] is dead even though it exists; on earth it did not acquire the blissful life, the condition of banishment also does now threaten it again if it does not in the kingdom of the beyond manage to come to the realization of not having ceased to exist, nor will it cease to do so either, even though it does not live on earth any longer .... Only this realization makes it possible for it in the kingdom of the beyond to still strive for the life yet and it will actually receive help in doing so.

But dreadful it is for an already self-aware soul when it again experiences the fate of re-banishment .... when the self-awareness is taken away from it and it will have to take up the walk through the creation in countless particles and will have to re-endure the endless agonies, which represents any outer form of the spiritual. For only by means of pain can the spiritual be purified to the extent of again to mature to a self-aware being, once to live and to never again lose its life.




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